Love Versus Lust

We've seen enough romance films and series that cover the intricacies of love and lust, but this still seems to be a very confusing topic. How do you tell if you're in love or you're only sexually infatuated with someone? It's easy to see the difference on the big screen, but to experience this for ourselves is a different and often conflicting feeling.

According to psychiatrist Judith Orloff, here are some significant differences one can spot to identify whether or not you're in love or you're in lust:

Lust is when...

• You're attracted to someone's physical features alone

• You only want to engage in sex with them

• You avoid discussing real feelings with them

• You avoid cuddles or any romantic actions after sex

• You don't see them as a friend

Love is when...

• Your feelings aren't all sexual; there’s intimacy too

• You love spending quality time with them, even after sex

• You listen to each other's thoughts and feelings

• They become your drive and motivation to be a better person

• You want to be part of their life, including meeting family and friends

How Can You Identify Your Feelings?

Lust and love are generally easy to differentiate. Lust is when you're excited about someone's physical features, and you have a craving for them. When it's hard not to stop sexually fantasising about them, you probably feel lustful towards them.

On the other hand, love involves emotional support and open communication. With love, you are interested in your partner's life and vice versa and think of your future with them.

Love and lust aren't mutually exclusive. You can experience love without lust, and you can lust without love. But it's also possible to experience both for the same person. In addition, many different love languages may be mistaken for lust, such as physical contact.

One of the significant signs of love is an emotional and intimate connection that grows over time through shared moments and disclosures. When you feel that they are only seeking physical touch and nothing more, you may be dealing with lust alone.

While love has always been seen as a far better feeling than lust, it all depends on our needs. That makes them different; we shouldn’t have to see lust as unacceptable and strange. Both lust and love can make us feel different things: lust can make us feel sexy and desired, love can make us feel beautiful and loved.

Which One Are You Looking For?

Ask these questions to yourself: Are you willing to accept someone to be a part of your life in the long run, or are you only open to a fling or two? How important is sexual fulfilment to you right now? Do you need it, or can it wait?

Remember that it’s okay for you to submit to both love and lust, but it’s essential to set your priorities not to confuse your significant other or yourself later on. Knowing the difference between lust and love - and recognising them separately - can help you develop the right relationships with the right people.