When It’s Time for Married Couples to Seek Counselling
When It’s Time for Married Couples to Seek Counselling
Every troubled married couple should try couple’s counselling before considering ending their marriage.
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How do you know when it's time to get relationship or marriage counselling?
It is natural for married couples to go through ups and downs in a relationship. But if it gets to the point where both spouses are miserable and don’t get along with each other anymore, then there are several options left for them.
Usually couples either separate, get a divorce, or go to couple’s counselling and do their best to try to save their marriage.
Sometimes a temporary separation has been known reduce the tensions in a relationship but adding some counselling to the mix can yield much better outcomes. If the love is still there between the two spouses, then in some cases, a temporary separation
may help them realise how much they mean to each other. But if their problems pick up again soon after they reconcile, then their relationship may need a different type of remedy to get them back to a good place.
Every troubled married couple should try couple’s counselling before considering to end their marriage or relationship. In many cases, the problems that married couples face are able to be resolved with a little help and perseverance.
There could be a number of things at play, but often times disconnection or communication issue between them may be one of the causes. A plethora of problems can be addressed with the right guidance and a counsellor who wants a great outcome for the couple.
How Many Sessions Should I Expect to Attend
There is no telling how many counselling sessions it will take to fix the problem in any relationship. The average couple will need anywhere between 3 to 10 sessions to start resolving their issues.
Times vary depending on the depth of the issue we need to explore and the seriousness of the issue. Everything depends on how willing each person is to address the problems
and their ability to compromise.
What we know is that every couple is different. Some couples have a whole list of problems, while others just have one or two problems. This can affect the number of sessions you may need.
For example if you have ongoing problems that have not been addressed for many years, then you may need extra sessions to ensure we cover everything.
How to Resolve Relationship Issues with Counselling
One of the more challenging aspects of counselling is getting each spouse to put forth the effort in resolving their issues. Instead of one spouse blaming the other spouse, each spouse must take responsibility for the relationship by working together to make it stronger.
If a married couple can get to the point where they share common goals in their relationship, then it will allow them to overcome whatever delusions or resentments they have toward each other. If those negative feelings have existed for several years, then it could take several years of sessions to overcome those feelings. Again, it all depends on the couple and the severity of the problems they face.
Is Happy Ever After a Thing?
Not too many couples truly live the fairy-tale of “happily ever after.” Perhaps couples wouldn’t have so many problems if the law required them to get couple’s counselling or coaching every week. Unfortunately, some people are too proud to seek help for a broken relationship. Some people act out which can include things like blaming their partner for the problems, distracting themselves with work or hobbies, alcohol or drugs, or in some cases, participating in extramarital affairs.
Don’t let yourself get to this point. As soon as you feel unhappy in your relationship, do something about it immediately. Let your partner know how you feel, so they are not in the dark. Communication is the main component of any great relationship. If they truly want to fix things, then they will agree to come along with you in an effort to save the marriage.
“Relationships are one of the most difficult experiences we will encounter in life”
“Relationships are one of the most difficult experiences we will encounter in life” according to a marriage counsellor named David Bulbert. “It’s difficult enough to live with ourselves, let alone another human being with all their faults, flaws, and idiosyncrasies. We may aspire to be spiritual like Buddha or Jesus, but they didn’t have partners, did they?”
Bulbert makes a very good point. All of these wise men and holy men of history that we read about did not have to contend with a wife or partner. Their spirituality could not have saved them from the disagreements and disappointments that come with every relationship. Perhaps that is why they chose to be single.
However, you shouldn’t have to be single. A relationship can be a fun and rewarding thing when it works right. If you’re feeling disillusioned, disenchanted, or alone in your relationship, then counselling can certainly help you overcome those feelings. And, of course, if you’re constantly fighting, disagreeing, and arguing with your partner, then counselling is a must.
Each session at Cooks Hill Counselling usually lasts 50 minutes on average. You can request to have a longer session if so desired, just let us know ahead of time so we can accommodate you. Both people in the relationship need only come once per week in the beginning. If for some reason that your partner does not want to come, then you can always come alone and seek advice from your counsellor about how to proceed in the relationship.
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Contact Details
Telephone: 0421 598 486
Email:
cookshill@optusnet.com.au
Address: 82 Womboin Rd, Lambton
ABN: 47 346 936 757
Opening Hours
Mon to Sat 9:00am - 8:00pm
After hours by appointment
After hours by appointment
