Blog Post

The Effects of Stress on Relationships and How to Be Resilient

cookshill • Sep 26, 2022

Stress can really take its toll on a relationship and can cause problems where there were none before. Encountering stressful life events as a couple can take its toll.

Mindfulness

Practising mindfulness means recognising your feelings, thoughts, or situations as they happen and not reacting or judging them. It is about being aware of what's happening in the present moment. By practising mindfulness, you can build up your self-confidence by acknowledging your stressors instead of constantly focusing on them. Find a time that works for you and do a few breathing exercises where you take deep breaths through your nose and exhale slowly out of your mouth. For example, I'll do this while sitting down with my feet flat on the floor while staring at a spot near my feet without moving any other part of my body except for my hands if I need to type something.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

CBT is the best way for individuals and couples to deal with relationship stress. It provides therapeutic strategies that can be tailored for both individuals and couples. CBT teaches you how to become more resilient in the face of adversity by making goals that are measurable, attainable, specific, realistic, and time-based. These are called SMART Goals. For example, if a goal is to have a healthy relationship, what does this mean? What does it look like? Is it just about being able to go on dates or does it include some other criteria?

Limiting time online

People often turn to the internet for leisurely activities, but overusing it can put stress on relationships. Consider turning off social media for a few hours a day, putting away your phone when you are with your partner, or getting offline before bed. Doing so will help you focus on the people in your life and reduce potential strain. It's also important to show your loved ones that they are not alone. For example, couples may be able to talk about their worries together and come up with solutions together. Communication is key!

Talking it out

One way in which stress affects relationships is through the added difficulty that it creates for talking things out. You know you need to talk, but if your partner is getting short with you when you try, it's hard not to get defensive. This can create a cycle where both partners are refusing to back down from their individual point of view, leading each person in the relationship feeling backed into a corner. To avoid this trap, one should make sure they're clear about what they want to accomplish by initiating these conversations- are they looking for an apology? A change in behaviour? Understanding of how the problem feels like from their partner's perspective?

Keeping Your Sense of Humour

It can be difficult for both people in a relationship to handle their stress differently. Sometimes one person handles it better than the other. If you're feeling frustrated by your significant other, try seeing things from their perspective and think about what may be going on for them before you lash out with anger or sarcasm.

Seeking Professional Help

You may be feeling like your relationship is over. There are a number of signs that may be pointing to the end, such as fighting all the time, making excuses for what is happening in the relationship or not being happy with your partner. If you feel like you need help but don't know where to turn, there are many resources out there for you. Cooks Hill Counselling offer a range of services for relationship problems. Our non judgemental approach is popular with couples in the Newcastle area.