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10 Things to Say Instead of Stop Crying

cookshill • Jan 14, 2019

Here are 10 things to say instead of stop crying

10 things to say instead of stop crying

No one wants to see a loved one upset and crying, especially not a child. But unfortunately, we learn from a young age that life isn’t easy. There are many obstacles along the way, and how we respond to them will determine how well we cope. Crying is a way for people to express that they’re unhappy or sad.

Children cry for many different reasons, they may be frustrated, hurt or want attention. Whatever the reason is, the way you as a parent react to their distress will make an impact on them as a human. Approaching sadness and unhappiness with love and compassion is the best way to go.

Here are 10 things to say instead of stop crying:

1. It’s OK if you’re sad

Society as a whole has created an atmosphere where everyone has to be fantastically happy all the time, this is not reality. Life is hard and there will be bumps in the road, allowing a child to understand that being sad is ok and is perfectly normal will ensure that they aren’t’ ashamed to feel that way.

2. I know this is hard

Recognising that you may not understand what they’re going through, but you do you know that what they’re going through is hard is reassuring. You may not know how they’re feeling, but you are approaching the situation with empathy which makes them feel like their emotions are valid.

3. I am here for you if you need me

Your child may not be ready to reach out at the specific moment that they’re upset; different personalities deal with feelings in different ways. Them knowing that you’re there when they’re ready to talk gives them the incentive to talk about their feelings when they are ready. Some people prefer to think about what they’ve gone through and talk about it later, and some prefer to discuss things straight away. Acknowledging that either way is acceptable makes them feel at ease, and not pressured to talk about things right away.

4. Tell me what is making you feel sad

Firstly, you’re acknowledging your child’s feelings by identifying that you can see that they’re sad. Secondly, that it’s ok for them to talk about those feelings. Having someone to confide in is important all human beings, not just children. They will feel safe knowing that they have someone to confide in and someone to openly express their feelings to.

5. I see you and I hear you

For a child, just knowing that they are seen and heard is a comfort. We all want to be wanted and valued, and this statement says: “I acknowledge your presence and your importance, and you’re precious to me”. It will build their self-confidence and encourage them to take on the challenges that life presents.

6. I am listening to you

When a child is upset, the last thing they want to hear is advice or to be told to stop crying. When someone is upset, they just want someone to listen. So, hone your listening skills in this scenario; don’t talk, just listen. It will provide a space where they can vent and express their negative feelingsthat they’re experiencing; you’ll see how supported they feel in this scenario.

Things to say instead of stop crying when comforting a child

1. I am here to help you work this problem out

Knowing that someone is there for them, and is willing to take the time out of their day to help them solve a problem is vital to a child’s growth. Firstly, it says that the problem is not insurmountable and can be solved. And secondly, that you’re willing to provide guidance and assistance; your presence is dear to them.

2. I will stay close so you can find me if you need me

If a child knows that their parent is within reach, this will be a relief to them. They will feel supported and comforted knowing that the person they depend on the most is close by. And, knowing that it’s ok to need someone in a time of distress is a lesson that must be learnt. This will benefit them in their future development when forming other relationships.

3. That was a hard situation

Recognising that their feelings are valid and that the situation was tough makes your child feel supported. They will experience challenges along the way which may be very tough, and them knowing that it’s OK to be sadin tough situations is a comfort.

4. Tell me what happened

Using these words allows your child to express their feelings and talk about what happened. There’s nothing worse than bottling up one’s emotions, so letting them know that’s it’s OK to talk about their feelings, and that you’re there for them, will be a step in the right direction in terms of their communication.

how to comfort a child who is crying

It's how you react to a situation

Every child reacts to a situation differently and cries for different reasons, however, the way you respond to their reaction is key to nurturing how they express their feelings. Think about how you would want a friend or family member to respond to your sadness or unhappiness, and make sure that you’re being the supportive parentthat your child needs.

Openness, love, compassion and empathy are the route to take when these situations arise.

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