Healthy Self Talk - Changing Your Outlook

If you haven’t stopped to think about it yet, then you should stop right now, and take notice of the conversations you’re having with yourself on a daily basis. These conversations or what is called “self-talk”, can have a profound effect on one’s outlook on life, self-confidence and mental health.

Self-talk is such a large part of our existence, yet so many of us don’t take notice of it. You are what you tell yourself, and what you tell yourself you believe.

If all of your self-talk has a negative undertone, then your life may have a negative one too. Life is full of challenges, so having negative thoughts during challenging times is completely understandable. However, engaging in negative self-talk consistently can have a hugely adverse effect on your mental health.

If you constantly tell yourself that you aren’t good enough, then you might start believing it. How many times a day do you tell yourself that you’re not good enough? We’re constantly bombarded with external messages telling us that we aren’t. Combine the condescending messages that we get from the media, with negative self-talk can be a recipe for disaster.

What if your life could have a positive undertone even when those challengesappear, and even when the world is conveying patronising messages to you? We need to be our own champions when it comes to our self-worth. Engaging in healthy self-talk on a regular basis will ensure that we are our biggest fans, creating a positive narrative in our heads.

We’re often our harshest critics but don’t realise how negatively it’s affecting us. Would you talk to a loved one the same way you talk to yourself? The answer is most likely, “of course not”, because you show others empathy and kindness. The first person that we should be showing empathy and kindness is ourselves. Being kind to yourself is the best gift you can give yourself.

Being mindful of the way we talk to ourselves is the first step to healthy self-talk. Mindfulness doesn’t mean controlling every thought that comes into our heads, it means being aware of the thoughts that appear. Acknowledging thoughts, then letting them go and not holding onto them is being mindful. Negative thoughts will pop up, but are you going to accept those thoughts as reality? Or acknowledge that they’re just a thought and then let them go?

Life is relative, but comparing your life to those that are less fortunate is a good reality check; it’s the glass half full or hall empty concept. Are you going to focus on what you don’t have or rather focus on all the things you do have? Thinking about 3 things that you’re grateful for, either first thing in the morning or last thing at night, encourages gratitude. Telling yourself how grateful you are for the positive things in your life is guaranteed to make you feel more grateful.

The next time you look in the mirror, tell yourself how amazing you are and focus on all of your strengths rather than your weaknesses. We all have things that we don’t like about ourselves, but we also have things that we love too. We are good enough and we need to start telling ourselves that more regularly.

Self-talk happens constantly and is ever evolving, as we evolve as individuals. Your current conversations may be different to conversations you have with yourself down the track, but that’s ok. Whatever form those conversations take, make sure they’re positive.

We all have different narratives in our heads, and sometimes we may need that critical thought to get us to take action. But having a constant critical conversation with yourself can get you down, and can affect your mental health. The next time you’re being told you’re not good enough, by someone else or by the media, take notice and then tell yourself that you are more than good enough.

Having positive robust conversations with yourself is a sure way of building self-esteem, creating a positive narrative and improving your mental health. Show yourself kindness and compassion, and work hard to focus on your thoughts. Take self-talk seriously and don’t be afraid to be your one biggest fan.