What are Red Flags and why Should we Take Notice?

No relationship is perfect. Some of our romantic encounters may be more difficult than others, and this is because everybody comes with a history. When the beginnings of a new relationship engulf us, we may be more inclined to overlook some things. However, as time passes, we begin to notice these ‘ red flags’

What are Red Flags in a Relationship?

Red flags are situations where things don’t feel quite right. Things like conversations, actions which are clues to the nature of the person. These may be things such as how the person reacts to extreme stress, how they act in volatile situations or when confronted. These signs may give you an indication about how this person may be as a partner in a serious relationship. It's always good to talk these things outto make sure you aren't missing anything.

• They Don’t Trust Anybody - Doing due diligence before you trust somebody is one thing, but some people have an absolute distrust of every person they encounter. This may be problematic down the track, especially if their habits start rubbing off on you.

• Sex drive levels are different - If your partner has a lower sex drive than you, it can be problematic in the relationship. It's important both parties are in the same mood, otherwise it can bring in a tonne of emotional stress and animosity.

• They invade your personal space - Everybody needs time alone and personal space. When you tell your partner you need space and he/she still persists, that may be a red flag. If your partner doesn't respect your boundaries and you let him/her push further, it may cause trouble in the future.

• They rush the relationship too fast - Some people move super fast after they meet somebody new. Those couples that go from zero, to engaged in a matter of days or weeks. That in itself is already a red flag. Lovebombing is often involved in this type of relationship problem.

• They prevent you from engaging in your social relationships - It's a serious red flag when your partner tries to separate you from your friends and family. This type of separation indicates that they want to isolate you and want you all for themselves.

• They give you the eye roll all the time - If he/she rolls his/her eyes at you often, it could be a sign that things are on a downward spiral. Body language is a big factor in establishing a strong relationship. Statistics indicate that eye rolling is often a predecessor to relationship breakdown.

• "My exes were all crazy" - We've had bad relationships here and there, we've made mistakes. But if your partner claims all his/her relationships failed because "they were bad" or "they acted crazy", we don't think the exes are the problem.

• They curse at you when you argue - It's completely normal to have disagreements in a relationship; we're not all the same. But if your partner starts calling you names or curses at you in an abusive tone, that's an immediate red flag.

• They're unmotivated, period - If your partner doesn't quite have his/her life sorted out, find out if he/she is actually aware of that situation and if he/she wants to do something about it. If he/she does, that's great. It means your partner wants to build the life they actually want for themselves. If not, step away. You cannot spoon feed someone forever. Attitude makes all the difference.

• They have a lack of respect towards their parents - Some people consider this a huge red flag. How a person treats their parents is a pretty good indicator of their thoughts on family. We know that not all parents are perfect and this should be taken into consideration when interpreting this red flag.

• Mood Swings - One minute they are sweet as sugar, the next you are being accused of all manner of things. You never know from one minute to the next where you stand. These relationships are exhausting.

• Sleep Schedule Issues - Shift work can really mess with a relationship. If you're a daytime kind of person and your partner's nocturnal, you're going to run into so many problems in your social life, career and even in romantic time.

• They tend to hide the little things - If they lie about little things, chances are they may also be lying about the bigger things. Keep this in mind when you notice small things being lied about.

• They cheated on their last relationship with you - Big, big red flag.

• They want your passwords - Why would somebody want your passwords? Possibly to monitor your private messages and emails. You are 100% entitled to your own privacy and security.

• They guilt-trip you all the time - They make you feel you may be at fault, even though you might not be. They often twist stories around and make you the bad guy.

• Clashing ideas and habits about money - It's important both of you are willing to talk about finances and money in general, as we all grew up with different views about it. Find ways to compromise; don't make money the reason you'll both fall apart.
  
• They make you feel dumb - And you know you aren't. That's unacceptable and it's NEVER healthy.

• They don't tell the world you're together - This might just be the biggest red flag yet. If your partner's hiding your relationship from others, there's definitely something going on that he/she doesn't want to let you know.

• They need to be reassured all the time - If insecurity dictates one's life, it can dictate a relationship as well.

• They have a different view on faithfulness - If your partnerthinks it's okay to hook up with someone else or flirt via texts then you may be in for trouble.
  

Red Flags are Warnings