Blog Post

Annoying Habits that Cause Stress in a Relationship

cookshill • Nov 19, 2021

Does your partner pay more attention to their social media accounts more than being affectionate to you? Have you been avoiding being sexually intimate in bed with your spouse? Do you even have secrets from your partner to “safeguard” your relationship?

These subtle traits and habits might cause distress down the track in your married life. However, there is still time to change these bad habits and increase intimacy with your significant other.

Being in a romantic relationship isn’t just about living in a fairytale dreamscape with your better half. A healthy relationship should be made up of two people in love who are willing to exert a combined effort to strengthen their bond for a lovely life journey.

Be mindful that healthy relationships aren’t just butterflies in your stomach, they also require respect, communication, loyalty and commitment from one another.

Is It Normal for Your Partner to Exhibit Annoying and Irritable Habits?

In a nutshell, yes. Living with somebody can often result in you discovering annoying things about them and them about you. In relationships, it is vital to understand the differences, flaws and quirks that make you and your partner unique from each other. However, when you combine these differences to form a relationship, you and your spouse will gradually find irritable traits from each other that may eventually cause petty arguments and disagreements.

Communication will always be the key to a healthy relationship, otherwise, you might find healthy intimacy a problem. For instance, if your partner makes a hearty breakfast for you before you start your day, they are usually demonstrating their love. This might be described as their love language. Each partner has their own love language that is usually unique to them.

Whether it’s acts of kindness, physical touch, quality time, giving presents or words of affirmation, a couple gets to have their own love language and will eventually know their partner’s intimacy needs to feel loved and appreciated.

Be appreciative of your partner’s efforts, either with a thankful remark, a cuddle or sincere, affectionate words. On the other hand, if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells or in a toxic relationship, you might want to reconsider your spouse’s talk.

Here are some things that might cause distress in your relationship:

Criticising Your Partner

In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect person, so don’t set unrealistic standards on them. Habitually scrutinising your partner’s flaws and mistakes might make them feel unappreciative of themselves or have low self-confidence in themselves.

Studies show that counsellors identify extreme criticism in relationships as one of the top predictors for break-ups or divorce. So if you’re habitually criticising your significant other, or they you, it might be time to seek some help.

Constantly Comparing Your Significant Other to Your Ex

The past remains as a past, and you should not constantly bring it up, especially if it’s a sore point for your partner. Forget your ex-lover and try to avoid comparing them to your current partner. Otherwise, that may expose insecurities which may end the relationship or cause problems.

Engaging in Affection or Argueing in Public Spaces

Not everyone wants to see a couple making out in public. Many people find this uncomfortable and some are triggered. If you and your partner have some serious issues to talk about, have an open-minded conversation in private instead of creating a fuss from arguing in public.

Evading Issues

Love is not all sweetness and affection. Sometimes issues need to be discussed and it may not always be pretty. The deep conversations need to be had, so make time for these so you can both be on the same page.

Bottling up Your Feelings

Your partner is not a mind-reader who automatically knows your problems. Learn to express yourself, your needs and your emotions. It’s unhealthy to bottle things up and can result in a host of health problems.

Forgetting To Forgive

To forgive a person is a virtue. Nobody’s perfect, to begin with, and everybody makes mistakes. Holding grudges may not be healthy for your heart, and worse, it can lead you to unwanted stress and anxiety. At the right time, sympathise and forgive your partner.

Bad Timing for Serious Discussions

Serious conversations such as financial planning and relationship expectations should be discussed. These conversations can get heavy so a good idea is to plan the time and place these will take place, and prepare accordingly. Stay calm and avoid alcohol prior.

Looking Through Each Other’s Phones

Trust is one of the essential components of a relationship. Respect your partner’s privacy and show them that you are trustworthy as a partner. Don’t do it, no matter how tempted you are to check their phone texts or bedroom drawers.

Allowing Jealousy to Ruin the Trust

Jealousy can happen at any point in a relationship. However, it may lead to doubting your partner and can be a symptom of a more significant problem: insecurity.

Are you experiencing one of these problems with your husband, wife or significant other? Let us know and have a heartfelt conversation at cookshill@optusnet.com.au or contact us at 0421 598 486.

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