Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid After a Breakup

Breakups are tough, no matter what the circumstances may be behind them. Whether you’re dealing with the pain of an expected breakup or the sudden devastation that comes with losing your partner to someone else, the experience can leave you completely lost and confused about what to do next. Here are some mistakes you should avoid in the first month after a breakup, and how to move forward with your life successfully.

1) Trying to Get them Back

Though your heart may still be broken, you need to get out there. Remember that old saying out of sight, out of mind? It is partially true—being able to avoid an ex makes it easier for you not to think about them as much. So, if you are trying to get over somebody, make sure you are active in other aspects of your life. Join clubs and make friends. Don’t let yourself fall into isolation and depression over your former relationship.

2) Oversharing on Social Media

It can be tempting to want to post about how you’re feeling, what you’re going through, and who you are currently crushing on. But posting too much about your ex or your relationship will only result in prying eyes from people close and even from strangers. They don’t need or care about your love life so don’t share it with them. The best thing to do is keep social media limited to happy posts that have nothing to do with anyone other than yourself. People will see those and think of you as confident, not desperate—and that confidence just might help heal your broken heart quicker.

3) Dwelling on your Previous Relationship

It’s easy to let old feelings of love and affection for your ex distract you from moving on. But remember, he or she is not part of your life anymore—so leave it at that! Try to devote some time each day doing something new and fun (instead of thinking about how great things used to be with your ex). You’ll get over him or her quicker if you stop looking back. Consider joining an activity group, like a sports league or yoga class. Go out with friends more often and surround yourself with positive influences who can encourage you to take action toward achieving your goals.

4) Getting into another Relationship Soo Soon

In some cases, you might find yourself ready for another relationship just as soon as your last one is over. This could be okay if you’re with someone you truly love and that person feels the same way about you. But if your ex wasn’t all that good for you—if he or she cheated on you, for example—then it would be more beneficial to give it some time before diving into another relationship. The most important thing is to make sure you are emotionally healthy enough before getting back out there. Your well-being should always come first when looking forward to something new.

5) Doing Nothing Because you Don’t Know where or how to Start Over

It’s easy to fall into depression and paralysis, but you don’t want that! In these early days of your single life, it is best to be active rather than inactive. And while you can’t just jump right back into dating—you need some time to heal and recharge emotionally—you should still be doing things that make you happy. Plus, staying active has been shown to improve mood and help people move on from relationships more quickly.

So go out with friends, take up a new hobby or join an activity group that meets regularly at a location near you (YMCA, anyone?). The key is to do something besides mope around; as Joan Didion put it: The future always looks good in other places. You never know where inspiration will strike next: A friend or coworker might introduce you to someone great.